It can be tough to navigate the unknown waters of a relationship, with Valentine around the corner, one is easily on tenterhooks. Relationships, whilst love dependent, would not be complete if Valentine Day’s short-lived celebration of love is ignored.
Should you celebrate, dread, or ignore? Being a foreign import, its roots lie way deep into a foreign culture totally disconnected to mainstream Nigerian culture and view of love. Evidently, with the prevalence of social media, easy access to information and the obsession for Western films, Valentine has become mainstream on Gen Z, however, it is the upper half of Millennials and Gen X who may still frown on the invasion by Valentine on our culture. What should you do if your boyfriend falls under the latter category?
We have done the hard work so you can winnow through the various tranches we have proportionate; we’ll help you figure out the best way to approach Valentine’s Day – whether you are single or in a relationship. We will also offer some tips for those of you who are struggling to navigate the murky waters of love.
So, whether you’re single and ready to mingle, or in a long-term relationship, we have got you covered. Keep reading for all the information you need to make this Valentine’s Day one to remember – or forget!
Why Are We Celebrating Valentine’s Day
Ah, Valentine’s Day. The day of love. The day of happiness. The day to get all dolled up and go out to a fancy restaurant. Or is it?
As alluded earlier, acquiescence to the Valentine concept within some age groups in Nigeria is widespread. Heavily acculturated amongst the lower tier of Millennials and Gen Z, it is not commonplace with Gen X. Although Valentine’s Day is not an official holiday in any country, unofficially, we cater our career to make room for some sort of flexibility, or even not coming to work on Valentine’s Day. Think what may, Valentine’s Day is coming, and it is here to stay. So, what should you do if your partner is not a Valentine’s Day person?
The best thing to do is talk to your partner about how you feel, express the importance of Valentine in your life, but create an atmosphere suited for mitigation in a loving, engaging and dialogue-friendly manner. Bear in mind, you may have to compromise. Always be willing to compromise, remember, respect for one’s way of life is sacrosanct especially in a loving relationship. Perhaps, you could celebrate Valentine’s Day differently, or perhaps, consider the option of ignoring Valentine altogether. As long as you have a healthy stream of communication with your partner, you should be able to get through this test of compatibility unscathed.
What Does It Mean When Your Partner Hates Valentine’s Day
So, you’ve been dating for a while, and you are both headed into uncharted territory – Valentine’s Day. Your partner has made it abundantly clear that they despise the Hallmark quasi-holiday, but you are unsure why. Do they think it’s cheesy? Do they not like receiving gifts? Are they simply put, anti-romantic?
Before you do anything, it is important to first figure out why your partner hates Valentine’s Day. Perhaps, they had an unpleasant experience in the past, or perhaps, they just don’t see the point in celebrating a day that defines love through the eyes of a foreign culture. If you can understand where your partner is coming from, it will be a lot easier to navigate the thorny situation.
But if you’re still at a loss, don’t worry – we have got plenty of tips on how to make Valentine’s Day special, even if your partner does not want anything to do with it.
Finding a Middle Ground for Valentine’s Day
What should you do if your partner hates Valentine’s Day? Easy – just pretend it doesn’t exist! After all, it’s just a fictional day that has pretty much been redefined over generations to suit the reality of the era you live in. Times are hard by the way; would you rather dish out hard earned funds over a long-term empire you are building with your partner?
But if you really want to celebrate Valentine’s Day, meet each other halfway, offer to cook something and have a romantic dinner at a location the two of you hold dearly. Or, perhaps, a low-key dinner at your local restaurant. And whatever you do, don’t go overboard with the flowers and chocolate – that is always a recipe for disaster.
Ways to Make the Day Special Even if Your Partner Hates It
It’s time to get creative! It does not matter that you and your other half don’t celebrate the day in the same way. Instead of making a big deal out of it, why not set aside some time to do something special together? You could go for a few drinks at your local lounge, enjoy a picnic setting, or even just curl up on the couch and Netflix-binge all night.
Forget about the traditional romantic gestures like chocolates and roses, or expensive dinners at fancy restaurants. Do something that feels genuine, meaningful, and authentic to your relationship. Spending quality time together on Valentine’s Day can help you celebrate the love you have, regardless of what is mainstream, remember, the both of you live and share your world, that world should only be defined by the both of you.
Tips for Talking to Your Partner About the Topic
If you want to talk to your significant other about their feelings towards the day of love, then here are a few tips to make it go swimmingly. For starters, ask them if they ever celebrate the day of hearts or dread it. You can then lead into how you feel and ask them if they would be interested in doing something special this year that you both may enjoy.
It’s important to remember not to make assumptions and let your partner know that their opinion is valued as much as yours. Some might want to go out for dinner, whilst others may prefer staying in with take-out and Netflix. No matter what the outcome, be respectful and understand that everyone celebrates differently. After all, the best part about relationships should be toleration, flexibility and understanding – no matter the occasion.
How to Stay Positive and Navigate in This Situation.
If your partner is not all hearts and roses come February 14, don’t fret. You can stay positive in this situation by focusing on the things that make your relationship strong. Whether it is mutual indulging in a certain activity or getting into some good-natured arguments about who’s the best housemate in the new Big Brother Titan, think about how these moments have brought you closer together.
Sometimes, a small gesture of affection is all it takes to remind your partner that you care and that you are in this together. So, if your Valentine’s Day plans are put on pause, try doing something small and unexpected, like cooking their favourite meal or sending them a heartfelt card with a personalised message. It may just be the reminder they needed that you are still there for them no matter what.
So, what should you do if your partner hates Valentine’s Day? The answer is simple: fake it! Pretend to love all the Hallmark trappings of Valentine and go along with whatever your partner wants to do. This may not be the most genuine celebration, but it will at least get you through the day. And don’t worry, the other 364 days of the year are still available for you to express your love in your own way.